[Review] Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

Rating: 5 stars

Published: May 30th 2017

Goodreads Synopsis:

Her story is a phenomenon. Her life is a disaster.
In the real world, Eliza Mirk is shy, weird, and friendless. Online, she’s LadyConstellation, the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea. Eliza can’t imagine enjoying the real world as much as she loves the online one, and she has no desire to try.
Then Wallace Warland, Monstrous Sea’s biggest fanfiction writer, transfers to her school. Wallace thinks Eliza is just another fan, and as he draws her out of her shell, she begins to wonder if a life offline might be worthwhile.
But when Eliza’s secret is accidentally shared with the world, everything she’s built—her story, her relationship with Wallace, and even her sanity—begins to fall apart.

This book made me cry. That's a great way to start a review.

There's a stark contrast between the Eliza Mirk of the real world versus the Eliza Mirk of the online world. For starters, though she appears to be the awkward, shy, essentially friendless girl of her high school, is has gained fame online for her webcomic, Monsters of the Sea. There, on her forum and through the internet, she is praised, adored, and noticed, garnering fans from all corners of the world. She even has a few friends that she trusts with her real identity. However, this secret life Eliza leads may be compromised when a fan of the series moves to her school. Both simultaneously start emerging from their shells, and for once, Eliza begins to question if the real world might be even better than the virtual one.

Okay, first thing is first, the anxiety/panic disorder rep in this book is fantastic! I related immensely with Eliza's irritability, her frustrations, her tendencies to need to drift off and be by herself to function at her best. 

Some of the other Monstrous Sea fans have migrated away from our table, so I turn my face to the empty space beside me whenever I need to breathe.
I learned years ago that it's okay to do this. To seek out small spaces for myself, to stop and imagine myself alone. People are too much sometimes. Friends, acquaintances, enemies, strangers. It doesn't matter; they all crowd. Even if they're all the way across the room, they crowd. I take a moment of silence and think:
I am here. I am okay. Then I let myself listen in on the conversation again, and I slowly slip back into it. - p. 120 - 121

Throughout the book we see the constant internalized struggle of Eliza (and perhaps, outwardly, to all artists and authors and creators going through imposter syndrome or denial of some sort). The need to distinguish and establish ourselves away from fans, away from fandom, is necessary. You shouldn't let the story dominate you. 

There's also this strong nod to the idea of the fandom in Eliza and her Monsters. The online world is very much Eliza's life, more so than the real one is. It can't be simply brushed away, because of how strong the connections are. There's a lovely appreciation of how it brings people together. 

The slow-burn development of Eliza and Wallace's relationship was also something that I adored. So many times in contemporaries I roll my eyes at the instantaneous romance that occurs. But this one was paced so well; they're both so anxious and they're trying to unpack and heal from their own individual traumas. (aka this was a soft relationship I cry). There were so many cute scenes! But I shouldn't spoil. It was all so precious watching them run around their feelings for each other. 

But Wallace... I share Wallace with a lot of people. Wallace isn't mine any more than I'm his, but I want him. I want to hold him, I want to be near him, I want to crawl inside his mind and live there until I understand the way he works. I want him to be happy. - p. 262

Onto why I cried... I felt by the end of this I was so attached to Eliza's story, her growth, her obstacles, her ups and downs, that by the time she has to face her own demons, head on, I wept for her. Because it seemed like the whole world was against her and she couldn't do anything about it. Just watching everything she built seemingly fall apart was just awful for her (and for me). I wanted to hug her. 

I just loved that in the end, there was both an acceptance on the idea of a story, and an acceptance from Eliza on how she wanted to live her life - not overwhelmed by her story. Its a powerful message to all sorts of content creators.

Like life, what gives a story its meaning is the fact that it ends. Our stories have lives of their own - and it's up to us to make them mean something. - p. 360

I loved Eliza and her Monsters, and it's been awhile since I've given a contemporary YA 5 stars. A perfect, sentimental, coming-of-age read.